bookbashuk Page 365
Page 365
It wasn't easy at all; I've finally reached this point after 104 million words.
I'm a sentimental person, and here are some heartfelt words I'd like to share with the readers reading this:
As readers, you know better than I do that in the crossover anime genre, almost 99% of the time this character won't be the female lead.
Even among doujinshi focused on Oregairu, there are those featuring Iroha, those featuring Kawasaki Saki, and even gender-swapped versions of Ayaka! (Um, I think I am one of them...)
Yui Yuigahama is the only exception.
I thought about it for a long time, in a fragmented and intermittent way.
Why is this?
Rather, why do I want Yui Yuigahama to be the second female lead?
The answer is actually quite clear: the scene where Yui was the last one to crouch in a corner and cry, refusing to show her tears to Hachiman Hikigaya until the very end, broke my heart. That's 90% of the reason I chose her.
But this reason has gradually faded.
In the process of writing the book, I gradually came to know myself and found myself.
I examined my heart and asked myself, was it really just because I felt sorry for him?
Actually not.
That girl named Yui Yuigahama was so gentle and sincere.
In this fast-paced era, obvious and self-evident sincerity is meaningless.
What kind of female protagonist qualifies as a "qualified" female protagonist for readers?
First, the female lead must be rich or powerful; if not, she must have some attractive qualities.
Everyone's attention should be on the female lead.
The female lead must be a chosen one, the object of everyone's adulation.
Then, to everyone's surprise, she only fell for the protagonist.
Only in the end will readers come to appreciate the female lead's so-called sincerity.
So the saying "sincerity is the ultimate weapon" actually means that the ultimate weapon should be saved for last.
In Dou Dizhu (a popular Chinese card game), who starts by playing a royal flush? If you do, it means you can beat me with twenty cards.
I don't know if you've seen "Dragon Raja".
When writing about Yui Yuigahama, I sometimes think of a character from Dragon Raja 3.
She was a girl as delicate as a weed, who made a living by shining shoes for others, earning a meager fee.
Life went on uneventfully, and she thought that would last forever.
Until one day, just like in a melodramatic TV series, she met a down-on-his-luck young nobleman and, in a melodramatic way, fell in love with him at first sight.
Even when he was being chased, she resolutely gave him all the money she had likely been paying for, which was probably from customers taking advantage of her.
Later, she stood on the rooftop, facing a life-or-death situation.
Just because that blond young nobleman said he would pick her up, she resolutely jumped down.
Then she died.
She died in the arms of her beloved blond nobleman.
Even as she died, she used her last strength to say words of gratitude.
When I read that part, I felt it shouldn't be gratitude, but rather liking.
That girl was so naive, so naive that she didn't even try to hide her feelings for you from the very beginning.
There's a line in Dragon 3 that roughly means:
If a girl is a book, then this shoeshine girl is a thin sheet of paper.
It reads in the same thin font: “I like you”.
You might feel somewhat moved when you first see it.
It's perfectly normal for a man to feel proud because a girl likes him.
But when you turn the page to the back, the handwriting is still thin and the same—it simply says, "I like you."
Then it was gone.
After thinking about it for a while, you'll just think, "Hey! This girl is so boring!"
She was so sincere and so easy to understand.
Sincerity that comes to you on a silver platter is very cheap.
Men always like to pursue women who present a challenge.
That's why aloof CEOs, icy senior school beauties, and genius saintesses from sects are so popular.
No?
But Yui Yuigahama is different from that girl.
Although she was sincere, she possessed the reserve and introversion characteristic of adolescence.
She would make cookies as a way of repaying him, and even though she had already shown through her actions that "I just wanted to give them to you," she still didn't tell him directly and frankly.
Therefore.
Yui Yuigahama is just an ordinary girl in her adolescence.
She's so ordinary that she has her own social circle, so she can't have that kind of endearing quality.
One of the endearing traits is that, like Yukino and Mahiru, the whole world only cares about you and revolves around the protagonist.
Boys love to protect weak girls, just like everyone feels sorry for Erii.
I want to take her to see the world and tell her how wonderful and beautiful it is.
Haha! That must be really satisfying, right?
But that's an illusion.
Actually, we haven't really seen much of the world. It's just a common trick men use to fool little girls, but everyone thinks it's romantic, right?
Let's go back to Yui Yuigahama.
What initially made this character memorable was probably his clumsiness, such as his ability to bake cookies into charcoal.
But that's a talent, too. At least when I'm with her, I don't have to worry about the cold in winter. If I'm cold, I can just ask her to burn charcoal, hahaha.
……
Later, everyone learned that Yui Yuigahama was actually a very thoughtful girl, but in reality, everyone thought she was just so-so.
Because being thoughtful and meticulous is a universal trait, just like gentleness, it can be applied to any female protagonist.
Aren't girls supposed to be the epitome of thoughtfulness and gentleness? That's the common perception.
So she really was an ordinary girl, as ordinary as could be.
The only thing worth mentioning, besides sincerity, seems to be "gentleness".
But what does "gentleness" even mean?
But this still seems to be a "general attribute".
Who isn't "gentle" towards someone they like?
This is simply not a reason for audiences to buy into the product.
Then this gentleness, which was misunderstood as "universal," became the point of attack against Yui Yuigahama.
Everyone said it one after another.
Yui Yuigahama was too gentle; she treated everyone the same way. She didn't stand firmly by Hachiman Hikigaya's side, so she was destined to lose from the very beginning.
Countless people on Douyin (TikTok) say this.
It's true that very few people like dumplings.
People mostly feel sorry for her, but the vast majority have no feelings for her at all.
If you see someone in the comments section of Douyin (TikTok) vehemently arguing that what Hachiman Hikigaya disliked wasn't the gentle girl, but rather his overly sensitive teenage self.
That must be me.
However, a reader commented on Da Laoshi's point of view, saying, "Everyone's reading comprehension is different."
Well, let's just say that.
The Oregairu (My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU) community is so large that everyone has their own opinion. I joined an Oregairu channel a few days ago, and that feeling only intensified. There are many people there who have very insightful research and analysis of Oregairu, which makes me feel ashamed of my own lack of knowledge.
But after reading it for a long time, I only saw the thoughts of the original author of Oregairu between the lines, and I couldn't see the shadow of those people themselves.
Back to topic.
In my writing, Yuihama is an extremely gentle girl.
How extreme is it?
I think it's the ultimate in resilience.
So even the gentlest and strongest girl is unwilling to show her tears until the very end.
I'm afraid you'll stay because of me, and even more afraid that such a stay will be out of pity.
"It's so good that I didn't become the girl who was pitied."
"Because that would be too pitiful..."
Yui Yuigahama's gentleness means she doesn't need to be pitied.
So she hides her tears, her smile as warm as the last ice flower blooming on the icy plain.
Then, smiling and pushing you along, I pretend to be nonchalant, thinking:
"My great hero, please hurry and save your princess."
Even if that princess isn't me.
"Don't stop for someone like me who is destined to pass by."
So when Yui Yuigahama really did end up like the girl in Ryu 3, almost dying in the arms of the man she loved.
And that man happens to be someone I can't forget.
What will she say?
After thinking it over, I realized that she only knows how to say one sentence.
That is, "Forget me."
I forgot there was a girl who liked you like this, even though you know I like you, and I know you know that too.
But please don't be sad for me, and please don't stay for me.
Even now, it remains a tragedy and regret of youth.
I don't like tragedies.
Even compared to the popular and commonplace happy endings (HE), bad endings (BE) are always easier for people to remember.
Just like the white moonlight, it is only something that cannot be obtained that is called the white moonlight, because the real moon is always in the sky—as for the moon in the water, it is a false product that cannot be touched.
There's a line in Oregairu that goes something like this: "This world is neither gentle nor kind."
So, gentle girls are not necessarily treated gently by the world.
But what does it really matter whether the world is gentle or kind?
How gentle can you expect something that's philosophical or conceptual?
Gentleness is a virtue that enhances a person.
Therefore, it is always people who are gentle.
The world is big, yet it is also small.
The world only gets bigger with each new person you meet.
This world is short.